Day 163: Goodbye

I guess it's gonna have to hurt.

I guess I'm gonna have to cry.

And let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side.

I guess it's gonna break me down, like falling when you try to fly.

It's sad....but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life

Starts with goodbye.

Day 129: Survival

Next week at this time I will have completed my first year at Liberty. This, my friends, is honestly hard to believe. I have been through so much in the last year that I don’t know how I am making it out alive. So much stress, drama, and disappointment have darkened my door.

While that has happened, I have also had a lot of amazing moments. I have the best friends possible. These people love me for me, despite the mistakes and flaws. At the end of the day, I know whom I can call at 2 in the morning.

I also went to Miami and learned a lot about myself and about God and about helping others. I think I know what I want to do with my life. Even though I am not totally sure, I might try and see if that direction is open to me.

I would like to make a shout out to a few people who really have impacted my life.

First, I would like to thank my parents. Their love and support is more than I deserve and more than I could ask for. I love them so much and I’m excited to come home and spend the summer with them. I can’t believe my time with them is going by so fast and soon I have to be on my own. I won’t be ready for that I don’t think, because they are my best friends.

Second, my best friend in the world: Lizzy. I have missed her greatly and I can’t wait to see my soul sister in just a few weeks. She means the world to me. Without her support and love, I would not have survived. I miss making videos with her and eating too many hot tamales. I hope we can hang out a million times this summer. I love you. Thank you bestie.

Third, I would love to thank my best friend here at Liberty. Her name is Vanessa. This girl and I have gone through the ring of fire and have made it on the other side. We are smarter people and we know so much more than we did last year. She and I can laugh about anything and coffee dates with her are the best. I love this girl and can’t wait to see her again in the fall. We plan on going to every single basketball game and having plenty of hang out nights at my apartment. I love you Vanessa. :)

Fifth, I have to thank God. As the song goes, ‘You are my strength when I am weak’ and I definitely have been weak this year. God has opened doors for me and shown me my worth. I have been blessed beyond words.

Thank you readers. I hope I impact just one person’s life. That would make all this writing worth it.

Day 113: Ending

I just want to tell ya'll that I appreciate you reading my blog. I know I post very randomly and not everyday like I used to. Yet, you keep with me and I really like that. So, thank you. :)

So what I wanted to write about today is something very exciting and yet a little sad. I am done with my third year of college in three weeks. I'm going home soon! As crazy as it sounds, I can't wait to get back home and work again. I also, as you know, love my family so much and I have been waiting to see them all since Christmas break.

The sad part is leaving my friends. Their are definitely some people in my life who it will be hard to leave. But I love them so very much and can't wait to see them again. :)

Another cool thing is that I am going to Tennessee for Easter break this weekend! Yayyy for adventures and some home-cooked meals. I have never been there before but some family friends have invited me. I'm really excited and it is such a blessing that I am going. I do miss going home for Easter break, but this is such a great family and they're so sweet for taking me under their wing.

That's about all I have for you guys. Sorry it isn't inspiring but hey. It's been awhile. :) love you all!

Day 94: Miami

Hi everyone!

So starting today this blog won't be me whining!

My heart completely changed when I went to Miami on my missions trip. From seeing suffering kids and parents in the projects to witnessing and speaking on the street, my heart was broken.

I truly praise God for what He did in my life over spring break. I have finally starting finding myself and who I am in Christ. It's honestly amazing!!

I am also in the process of applying to work for OAC (open air campaigners). That is the missions organization that I went on the trip with. I'm really excited for the opportunity to work there after I graduate! :)

I also made some AMAZING friends! I love these people. They have been my support system and we do stuff almost every other night. I love them.

I love God. I love my life. I love Miami.

Day 71: Direction

Disclaimer: this post will be a little bit of venting as well as a bit of pouting. Get over it people! haha I have feelings and you're gonna just have to suffer and listen to them. Well, read them.

So basically my life has not gone as planned. My life plan was this: date, get engaged my junior year, and then be married after I graduate. Has this happened? Obviouslyyyy not. Am I ok with it? Ummm sort of.

Sometimes I catch myself getting really depressed about my life and how it has gone. But then I start to think to myself, ok courtney. You've made it this far. You're alive and healthy. You have a great family and great friends who love you. You have God who never fails. He has a plan. It's under control.

And even though I know all that, it really is hard to believe it in my heart. I have to be honest with you guys. I have doubts. It's a daily struggle for me to be happy. I have so much on my plate this semester. I'm getting through it day by day.

Baby steps. That's what I have to do. Just go day by day and survive.

Day 66: Confident

Yeah yeah yeah. I know. It's been awhile. I'm not even going to make an excuse. Except that I have been busy. But that's the only one I got :)

Anyways, a lot has been going on so let's just do an overview! I turned 21 last week! And no, I don't drink and I have zero interest in drinking. Second, I have had a presentation or test seriously about every day this last week and a half. It has been crazy busy for me. I have survived!

So I'm not going to tell you the whole story, but basically there has been some drama in my life this last week. Someone I thought was my friend pretty much said she doesn't like me at all and stuff like that. It was pretty shocking and blind sided me to be honest. I'm not trying to bash her on here...just going to make a point.

I never have been a super confident person, especially about how I look and things like that. You might be thinking, "no Courtney..you're pretty" and yes. I know God made me in His image, therefore, I am beautiful.

I just have never looked at myself in the mirror and been totally satisfied with the woman I see. Part of the reason is because of the fact that I had an abusive ex who made me feel bad about myself. It also has to do with how society portrays beauty. I don't need to tell you about that because I'm sure everyone feels like that at some point in their lives.

Honestly, I have been single for almost 7 months and over this time I have learned to love myself. I don't walk around with an attitude or anything like that. Those who really know me understand who I really am. But rather, I have decided that what my ex said about me isn't the truth. I see myself to be beautiful now. I haven't felt that way about myself for years, and it's honestly nice to be satisfied with how I look.

I just want to encourage you guys to look at yourself and know that God made you to be beautiful. Don't let someone tell you otherwise. And ladies, if your boyfriend is telling you that you are ugly, fat, not good enough, DUMP HIM. Please don't let someone degrade you. It's not worth it.

Day 55: Satisfied

I feel like most people in my position (that being single) would probably be really unhappy and lonely and whatnot. I have to be honest. Yeah, I get lonely and I wish I had a boyfriend. But I actually feel really satisfied with my life right now. Being single is a blessing. It gives us time to grow as an individual.

Honestly? I like having to just think about myself. Now, I'm not trying to sound selfish in any way, so don't get me wrong. haha. What I mean is, I am enough to deal with! Adding someone else into that isn't going to help me right now. Being alone is for the best. I will grow from this and then I'll be ready.

I'm so excited for my missions trip to Miami. You guys have NO idea. I'm super excited! I'm just counting down the days for it. This is going to push me out of my comfort zone but I'm ready. This is just going to make my journey that much better.

I'm on day 55. This is so cool. I am one-seventh of the way done with this journey. :) be proud of me friends. I am proud of myself and confident that I will make it through and come out a better woman.

Love you all!

Day 52: Swamped

I have been on the go all week! Finally I can just take a deep breath and just relax and finally write another blog post. I don't like going this long without posting, but I literally have been running around for days. I have had either a test, presentation, quiz, or assignment due almost every single day.

Enough for excuses :)

I have to publicly apologize to my best friend, Liz. I have been so consumed with myself and all the stuff I have had to do this week that I have barely been in contact with her. When I do, it's kind of distant. And for that, my dear, I'm sorry :) I LOVE YOU!

On a better note, I am officially going to Miami for a missions trip! Over spring break! :) I'm really excited. Tonight I get to meet some of my team members. I'm really excited for what God has in store for me. I know I am going to grow on this trip and I really think it's going to be great.

That's all. Love you all :)

Facts about me:

1) I love Ranch Goldfish. Best snack everrr.

2) I wish I could live off campus next year but I don't have the money for it. Sad.

3) My grandma got me Black Hills Gold for my birthday. She rocks!

Day 45: Boooooo

So guess what day is approaching quickly? You guessed it...Valentine's Day. Or should I say, Singles Awareness Day?

Yes. The holiday of pink, red and white is in a few days and the only reason I will buy a bag of candy is so I can stuff my face. Am I sad I don't have a valentine this year? Not really, actually. Before I dated my ex, I went almost 17 years without one so I think I can survive one more year.

Now, as you know, my favorite color is pink. So that makes V-day sort of hard because I won't be wearing pink this year. I will be wearing black I think in protest! :) And I will be eating a big thing of ice cream and watching a sappy movie with Vanessa. It's going to be a great day :P

For all of you who do have Valentines, I'm not jealous. I'm really not. You have fun. And I'll have fun. And everyone will just have a jolly ole' time! :P

Day 41: Packers

Tomorrow is the SuperBowl people! And as you can imagine, I am rooting for the Packers! :)

Why? Well, they are the closest team to my home state. (Lame, I know. But I need reasons!)
I like their colors. Their logo is pretty sweet. I just feel like rooting for them, ok? I don't need a real reason because I honestly don't know that much about football. I know what a touchdown is and basic stuff. Other than that, I will just smile and nod.

I guess we will see tomorrow night who the winner is. Good luck to both teams. Go Packers!



Facts about me:
1) The friends I have now are the friends I want to keep forever.
2) I love ice cream and I love eating it all year round.
3) My 21st birthday is in 18 days!

Day 38-39: Bieber

Yes, friends. I really did just title this post Bieber. And yes, I am going to talk about Justin Bieber in my blog post tonight. Why? Well my friend Vanessa and I witnessed a girl on the bus today complaining about how Justin Bieber's music is "sinful music".

Really? Let me post some lyrics for you. I honestly am not a die-hard Bieber fan, but I do give the kids props for a cute voice and ever cuter lyrics.

Baby:

For you, I would have done whatever
And I just can't believe we're here together
And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losin' you
I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring
And I'm in pieces, baby fix me
And just shake me 'til you wake me from this bad dream
I'm goin' down, down, down, down
And I just can't believe my first love won't be around

See anything bad? Me neither! How about this song? (I love this one. Too cute :)

One Time:

Your world is my world and my fight is your fight

My breath is your breath and your heart is my heart

And now I've got my one love, my one heart, my one life for sure.

Lemme tell you one time, girl I love you, girl I love you

Imma tell you one time, girl I love you, girl I love you

And Imma be your one guy

You'll be my number one girl...always making time for you.

Lemme tell you one time, girl I love, girl I love you.

I'm sorry. Maybe I am blind. I don't see anything wrong with this song. I really enjoy this song, and I like a cute, clean, honest song every once in a while. You can say what you want, but I like the Bieber and I can't call his music sinful.

Facts about me (I forgot to do this the other day :)

1) I hate the smell of tuna but I like to eat it.

2) I like to curl my hair. I think it makes me look nicer and older.

3) Biggest Loser is one of my favorite shows and it always makes me cry.

Day 37: Lizzy

I just want to dedicate this blog post to my very best friend in the whole wide world: Lizzy!!! :)

This girl is like my other half, my twin, myself. She and I have been best friends for like, three years now and it has been amazing to have her in my life. I love this girl. For real, people.

I hope you all have a guy or girl to call your best friend. It is always good to have a bunch of friends, but having a best friend can't be replaced. I would rather have a true friend who I can confide in and who loves me then a bunch of shallow, surface level friendships.

So yeah. Nothing deep tonight, friends. I just wanted you to know that I don't think I would survive without my Lizzy and I just thought this would cheer her up. Love you :)

Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly,
My life would suck without you.

Day 36: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

I wonder what grudges you have been holding on to? Because let's face it. We both know you aren't perfect. I hope the hurt you have experienced will make you stronger.

Love always,

Courtney

Day 36: Grudges

We all have them. Those little (or big) issues that stick in our minds for a long time. We fight with them, push them away, hide them, confront them, or sometimes we just don't do anything to them. Regardless, they are there and they will be if we don't do something about it.

I'll be the first one to admit that I hold grudges. I have a handful things in my life that are honestly super hard to forget about. It's hard sometimes to move on and let myself heal.

Tonight I started wondering if I am holding on to those things because it really is difficult to heal. Or maybe I'm holding on to them because I refuse to move forward? I guess it could really be either of them. I haven't exactly figured that out yet. I don't want to be one of those people that holds on to things my whole entire life, but I do understand that I am only human.

However, with God's power I can let go of those burdens. I'm not saying it could ever go away overnight. Some say time heals all. I say, and I'm always right (:P), that time, effort, and prayer heals. It takes more than just sitting around in your Lazy Boy. We actually have to put that conscious effort in each day to move forward.

So yeah. I'm trying...I really am. I guess one of my goals is to not hold grudges anymore. All they do is make me grumpy and bitter. I honestly like being happy! Nothing better than having a clear mind and a joyful heart.

I've decided to start something new on my blog. Along with writing my husband post (which I haven't done in awhile..ooopsie!) I will be writing a few random facts about myself. Just because I can! :)

Random Facts:

:) I love dill pickle chips.

:) Here Without You by 3 Doors Down is my all time favorite song. Probably always will be.

:) I never use bookmarks. I can always remember what page I am on in a book, even if it has been weeks since I picked the book up.

Day 32 - 35: Vision

Ok. I'm sorry everyone. I've been busy and haven't been able to write. You already know all my excuses so I just won't write them out because that is pointless. I'm just sorry. :) I love you all very much and I hate to disappoint you by not writing everyday. I promise to try harder to write more often because if you are reading this then you probably actually care about me.

So I'll be honest and say that I am not totally inspired today. However, the speaker in chapel today said something crazy and I would like to quote it for you. Just as a side note, I am German. This speaker was German. But he had the crazy, thick German accent and it was pretty cool. So just imagine me telling you this in a crazy, thick German accent.

"God will honor your vision if your vision is honorable"

Pretty sweet, right? So I think to myself, what is my vision? I guess I don't know if I really have one yet. I'm working on it. Maybe not everyone needs to have their life totally sorted out. I want to just let God lead me but I'll be honest and say that it's scary sometimes.

But hey...I serve an awesome God who's got the best plan for me. I might as well try and figure out what that is and then just be crazy happy, right?

I love you guys. Thanks for reading my blog. Hope you like it. If you don't, thanks for reading anyways, even if you might want to pull your hair out. :)

Day 31: Joy

You know what, friends? I really love Liberty. So far I really enjoy all my classes and the friends I have are excellent. I just feel at peace about my life right now and I'm truly glad that I am at Liberty University.

The weather has been rainy and snowy which makes my poor little knee hurt something fierce. Early arthritis? Maybe. Just kidding. I'm fine, really. haha :)

Anyways, besides the weather being gloomy, I see myself finding joy in the little things. Such as meeting new friends and discussing everything under the sun because talking is fun to do. Or going to the basketball games and watching our team win at the buzzer.

It's little things like that that get me through my days here. School is hard. Drama happens. It rains on my fabulous hair (just kidding :). Stuff happens that can darken my day.

I'm not going to let it get me down! There is so much joy to be found in the little things and it's a great feeling.

Day 29: Parents

This post is going to be a little different, due to the fact that I am writing it in the middle of the afternoon instead of the middle of the night. I was inspired so I guess I should let it out, right?

What I want to write about now is my parents. I love them! I don't think I have told them lately how thankful I am for their love and support. They have supported me in every way possible. They even stuck with me when the last thing I wanted was to talk to them about my life. I probably will never know how badly I hurt them but I definitely know it was a deep hurt.

My parents raised me phenomenally. I see so much of myself in each of them. It is so awesome to pin-point which parent I got a certain feature from. I got my love for writing and animals from my mom. I got my sense of humor (that gets me in trouble sometimes!) and my semi-nerdy computer skills from my dad.

I'm so glad that my parents are the parents God blessed me with. They really are great :)

Since I know my mom will read this, I want to say that I am not writing this because I am going to ask you to buy me something. Promise :) I really love you guys and just wanted to tell you and tell the whole wide world!

Day 26: Basketball

Confession time!

I miss playing basketball. I really really really do. I had such a blast! I know I can't play anymore because of my knee and whatnot, and I really don't have time to commit to it of course. I just wish I could play more often.

I think I will try and make it a habit of going to the gym more often! First of all, I really want to get in better shape. Second, it will give me a chance to get my shot back ;)

Another confession for you.

I absolutely love watching Liberty basketball!!! I have gone to every home game so far and I seriously can't get enough. It's such a good time and always fun to get away from the books for a couple hours.

The next game is Monday night and my friend Vanessa and I are going to go. There is a boy's game on Thursday and Saturday. We will go to both. :)

Anyways, nothing inspiring tonight. I'm tired from the week and I have another one ahead of me that will be a long one as well. I just wanted to tell you something about myself. :)

Goodnight, friends.

Day 23: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

I love you. I pray for you everyday. I hope you're really really awesome. I can't wait to meet you! :)

Love,

Courtney

Day 23: Praise

You guys have NO idea how happy I am right now! First of all, I have been reading my Daily Bible every night before I go to bed and every time God speaks to me through several verses. I write them in my journal along with a little prayer and just some thoughts about the verses.

I know God has blessed me so much in life. But honestly, I have never felt so "connected" you could say. Some people are able to just hear the voice of God in their mind and know exactly what He wants. But for me, it really has just started this last couple weeks. Especially when I read my Bible every night.

Tonight was absolutely amazing. I went to supper with my friend Vanessa and we had an amazing talk about life and just things that are close to our hearts. After that, Vanessa was going to meet her other girlfriend at campus church. I was thinking, "well I have a speech to finish and so I don't need to go to church".

Well, I just really felt that I needed to go. I didn't really know why, I just felt that tugging on my heart. I'm really glad I went. You have NO idea. God spoke to me in a very powerful way about the sin in my life and how God loves me no matter what and how I can let it go to God and move on with my life. IT'S AMAZING.

I'm just really happy, you guys. I just feel like things are going well and I've never heard and seen God speak to me like He has. It's going to be a good semester.

Actually, it will be fabulous. :)

Day 21: Continued

Dear Husband,

How are classes going for you? I hope you are loving where you are in life :)

Love you :D

- Courtney

Day 21: Successful

I made it through the first day of my second semester of school at Liberty University! And I officially have made it through five semesters of college and this is now my sixth :D This is exciting. I'm almost to the end. It is in sight!

My MWF classes seem to be pretty good classes and I think I will definitely enjoy them. I actually found out that my 8:50 class only meets on Wednesdays! How great is that! We pretty much do our homework on our own and will have stuff due or quizzes on Wednesdays.

Tomorrow I have my three upper level COMS classes and I'm nervous about them I must admit. I'm going to stay optimistic and not get too nervous. I want to enjoy them and learn a lot :)

Well, I am going to go to bed now. I have all my classes tomorrow back to back so I will be in the classrooms from 9:14-1:40. Should be a good time, right?! :P

Love you allllll! Sorry I've been such a downer in my posts. I'm just getting through a rough time but I feel a lot better. So, I'll try to be happy Courtney again. Night night!

Day 20: Annoying

So this blog post is going to pretty much be one big "vent fest". I'm just annoyed with a lot of things in life right now. Especially when people do annoying things to me or my friends and it makes me wonder what planet they are from. You know what I mean?!

First off all, people need to keep to their own business. I'm so tired of noses being where they aren't supposed to be. The other day someone called my best friend stupid for something that a) wasn't stupid at all and b) was absolutely NOT his concern. So that was just really rude of him to say. Oh, and he doesn't really know her that well so that just adds to the reasons why he is annoying me.

Second, people who drive like they don't know what winter in ND is like. I mean, really?! Why do you need to drive a school bus on icy, snow-drifted roads going 65? I know 65 isn't very fast but at the same time, it's winter. You should seriously slow down and think about how uninviting the ditch is. I don't know, guys. I was just annoyed by it because it's just common sense to slow down on ice. Did I mention that this guy was riding my tail for about 10 minutes before he passed me? Well, he was. I was going 55. haha! :)

Third. Some people must think my best friend and I are idiots. I won't go into details because it's a long story but basically I think these people thought we had no brains. Well, I do have a brain. Which is why I am writing this right now, actually.

End of venting. It's been a few days and things have just added up and I couldn't hold it in :) so thank you for listening to my venting and I hope you are inspired to go vent! (just kidding) :P

Day 17: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

I wonder where you go to school...it should be interesting to talk about someday why we chose our colleges and what we learned from our time there.

Love ya!

-Courtney

Day 17: Bummer

So I only have one more day at home and then it's back to being a college girl with classes to attend, drama to dislike, and stress to make my hair fall out. This break has been pretty relaxing for me and I have had a lot of time to think. So why don't I feel ready to go back to the daily grind of college?

I would be lying if I said I won't miss North Dakota. Now, I don't mean the freezing cold or the snow or anything like that. I mean, I miss my world. My family means everything to me and I'm so far away from them. I know I will have to break away from them someday as I become my own person. That's really hard when they mean the world to me.

This semester is about to start and I feel so disconnected already. Maybe once I get into the swing of it again I will start to feel better. I think I have just been thinking so much about my life that I am freaking myself out and starting to doubt my choices.

Even though I know I have things to get figured out in my life, I still feel so lost. Lost like a cute little cocker spaniel puppy... ;)

I guess my prayer is just that I get some stuff figured out and I really find myself. My path in life has seemed so fuzzy and I really want God to clear that up for me and show me exactly what direction to go. Because, I really can't do this on my own. I'm struggling for real, people.

Day 16: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

What's your favorite color?

Love you :)

-Courtney

Day 16: Pink

"Pink is not just a color; it is an attitude"

So tonight I don't feel like writing something very serious at all so I'm just going to write about something goofy! I am going to tell you about how much I love the color pink :)

Let's just say, if I could have everything in my life the color pink I probably would! My dream car, for instance, is a pink WV Beetle. If you have one, please let me buy it! Or you can donate it to me. Either one works for me ;)

I have pink suitcases. A pink make-up box. Pink clothes. Pretty much 80% of what I own is pink and I definitely love it!

I have nothing really inspiring to say to you guys tonight. I love the color pink and I sure hope you do too! Pink is fabulous :)

Day 12-15: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

This weekend has been insanely fun but also really busy! :) I wonder what you did this weekend and what kinds of things you enjoy doing. I can't wait for God to mold our lives and passions together and who knows what things in life we will accomplish!

Love you!

-Courtney

Day 12-15: Thinking

First of all, sorry for not writing for a few days! I have been so busy and honestly haven't had more than a few minutes at the computer. But here I am and I have a lot to say :)

This last few days has consisted of a lot of thinking. I went to bed one night and seriously freaked out about my life! I really think I had a mid-life crisis...and I am almost 21. This is insane, friends.

I tried SO hard to be everything my ex-boyfriend wanted me to be (even though it was never good enough). By doing that, I forgot to think about what I might want from life. Who do I want to be and what do I want in life are questions that I forgot to ask myself for so long. I feel like I am facing the repercussions of that now because I'm having to really take a hard look at my life.

My best friend and I spent the last few days together moving her into school and having a mini road trip. We had THE best conversations and I'm so glad I was able to reflect on life with her and really gain some really good advice. We are sort of at the same point in life and it's really nice having someone to go through this journey with. I don't feel totally alone, so that is nice!

So, what do I want for my life? I haven't fully figured it out yet. I don't think it will just come to me overnight, of course. But I will be whole-heartedly seek God's will for my life.

I don't want to let some guy telling me who to be. I'm going to figure out what I want and I trust that God will fit a man into that plan perfectly. I'm sick of being the one who always says, "well I will change my plans for you, ____".

Seriously, I'm done doing that. I wasted so much time trying to be the perfect person for that jerk and I forgot who I really am. I'm trying to figure out who I am now. I don't care if anyone gets offended by this because you know what? I'm just trying to be honest. Honesty brings healing and I'm all about healing!

Day 11: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

I just know you will be a guy who will be worth it. I will be worth it to you, and you will fight for me. I just know it! You're amazing. I don't know who you are yet but I just know that God has a real man out there for me :)

Love you!

-Courtney

Day 11: Dragging

So I had quite the experience with our dog tonight. This afternoon he got out of his collar when I was walking him and he would not let me catch him until a few hours later. It was absolutely freezing outside so I let him come inside for awhile.

He took a little nap...ate a little dog food...drank a little water. Had a jolly ole' time in the house with the me and the cats.

Well. Then the fun began. About an hour ago I figured it was time to take him back out to his kennel. So I put his harness/collar thing on and we got two feet out the door and he planted his stubborn legs into the ground. By the way, he is a german shepherd/chow and weighs about 50 pounds I would say. Very, very stubborn.

I was like, great. How am I going to get him all the way across the yard to his kennel? So, I drug him. Yep. I literally grabbed him by his harness and dragged him across the yard. About half way he decided that wasn't so fun so he started walking for me. Let's just say I was pretty annoyed.

What does this have to do with anything? What I felt for about two minutes just a little bit ago was what I felt for the last year and a half of my past relationship. I felt like I was dragging along someone who had his feet dug into the ground. That, my friends, isn't even close to being a pleasant feeling.

If you are in a relationship where you have to drag the other person around like dead weight, please get out of it. If your significant other can't put in 100%, then in my opinion they are not worth your time.

I want a guy who I don't have to drag along. I did that once and I seriously won't do it again.

Day 10: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

I really hope you have a great bunch of guy friends who support and love you. And I hope someday our friends can all be friends and that would just be very cool :)

Love ya!

-Courtney

Day 10: Friends

You know what? Even though I love chocolate, I think I could live without it. But friends? No way.

I love the girlfriends I have in my life right now. They are my support system and I have not once felt all alone because of their love for me. I have such a good time whenever I get together with my girls. We never run out of fun things to do and I just feel so alive!

This post is going to be very short but that is what is on my mind right now. I love my girls and I could not ask for a better group to call my best friends :)

Goodnight everyone :))

Day 9: Continued

Dear Future Husband,

I promise that when we meet, I will love you unconditionally. You are worth it to me.

:)

Love you!

-Courtney