This last few days has consisted of a lot of thinking. I went to bed one night and seriously freaked out about my life! I really think I had a mid-life crisis...and I am almost 21. This is insane, friends.
I tried SO hard to be everything my ex-boyfriend wanted me to be (even though it was never good enough). By doing that, I forgot to think about what I might want from life. Who do I want to be and what do I want in life are questions that I forgot to ask myself for so long. I feel like I am facing the repercussions of that now because I'm having to really take a hard look at my life.
My best friend and I spent the last few days together moving her into school and having a mini road trip. We had THE best conversations and I'm so glad I was able to reflect on life with her and really gain some really good advice. We are sort of at the same point in life and it's really nice having someone to go through this journey with. I don't feel totally alone, so that is nice!
So, what do I want for my life? I haven't fully figured it out yet. I don't think it will just come to me overnight, of course. But I will be whole-heartedly seek God's will for my life.
I don't want to let some guy telling me who to be. I'm going to figure out what I want and I trust that God will fit a man into that plan perfectly. I'm sick of being the one who always says, "well I will change my plans for you, ____".
Seriously, I'm done doing that. I wasted so much time trying to be the perfect person for that jerk and I forgot who I really am. I'm trying to figure out who I am now. I don't care if anyone gets offended by this because you know what? I'm just trying to be honest. Honesty brings healing and I'm all about healing!
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